what should I write?

Today I feel like writing. A lot. But then my mind is empty and I’ve got no clue what could that be. And besides, no one but me reads this.

Let's start with my name

I feel like my real name has been forgotten. It hasn't been pronounced for days, months and almost years. I try to slowly say it again out loud, making sure that all the sounds come out clearly and for some reason my true name sounds foreign. No, not to me, but to my ears. As if I can't relate what I am saying to what I am hearing.
It is me who asked them to call me differently in order to make it easier for them and maybe for me too. I didn't want any questions, their silent, unspoken frustration and here you go. Now I miss my name. I crave to see it said with other people's lips, I need to hear it, to feel it.
I don't think that another name makes me any different. I am who I am and I will change but not because of how I am called. I miss the deep connection with my name as if in four letters all my essence is contained. Do you believe that your names are important? Well, I do, now I really do.

My name is - Ugne